How will u go Down in someone's history?

While everyone is watching t.v i've decided 2 blog via iPhone.Not easy. :)
Woke up early, decided to have my coffee by the Atlantic ocean alone.
Atlantic City is beautiful.

Today I remember asking

if I am significant enough in someone's life history.

I laughed to myself and answered "perhaps not'"

Afterwards, I decided not caring is the best thing to do :)

2010

Hey all, would like to wish you a great 2010.
May you spend your new year with your family and perhaps loved ones.

I'll be jetting off to States and will be spending mine with family.
Yup my fifth.

You can catch me on any of my blogs but I have a feeling my mobile blog would be a breeze. Almost forgot I had one since 2008 til recently.Will put it among my blog add on the side .
http://riffsraffs57.blogspot.com

Will leave you guys with a suitable song to end 2009 (at least for me)

Till then don't forget to be a Fabulous Individuals in 2010.
I'll see you next year

Peace out & God Bless!



"Only Ones Who Know"

In a foreign place, the saving grace was the feeling,
That it was a heart that he was stealing,
Oh he was ready to impress and the fierce excitement,
The eyes are bright he couldnt wait to get away,
I bet the juliet was just the icing on the cake,
Make no mistake no,

And even if somehow we could have shown you the place you wanted,

Well I'm sure you could have made it that bit better on your own,
And I bet she told a million people that she'd stay in touch,
Well all the little promises they dont mean much,
When theres memories to be made,
And I hope you're holding hands by new years eve,
They made it far too easy to believe,
That true romance cant be acheived these days,

And even if somebody could have shown you the place you wanted,
Well I sure you could have made it that bit better on your own,
You are the only ones who know

Sceneries

Dia menciptakan langit tanpa tiang yang kamu melihatnya dan Dia meletakkan gunung-gunung (di permukaan) bumi supaya bumi itu tidak menggoyangkan kamu; dan memperkembang biakkan padanya segala macam jenis binatang. Dan Kami turunkan air hujan dari langit, lalu Kami tumbuhkan padanya segala macam tumbuh-tumbuhan yang baik.

Surah Luqman 31: 10

At Taubah

O you who believe (in Allâh's Oneness and in His Messenger (Muhammad)! Verily, the Mushrikûn (polytheists, pagans, idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allâh, and in the Message of Muhammad) are Najasun (impure) . So let them not come near Al-Masjid-al-Harâm (at Makkah) after this year, and if you fear poverty, Allâh will enrich you if He will, out of His Bounty. Surely, Allâh is All-Knowing, All-Wise.9:28


My understanding :
The first bar against non Muslim entrance in holy land started way back since Rasullulah time. It has even been in place on the 9th hijrah. So the visa validity even exists in Rasulullah’s time!

Do you think that you shall be left alone while Allâh has not yet tested those among you who have striven hard and fought and have not taken Walîjah [(Batanah - helpers, advisors and consultants from disbelievers, pagans, etc.) giving openly to them their secrets] besides Allâh and His Messenger, and the believers. Allâh is Well-Acquainted with what you do.

My undertstanding:
Even the most pious person will be tested by God. I think because if all is well, there would not be hard work. For each test determines how strong your iman is.

And those who hoard up gold and silver [Al-Kanz: the money, the Zakât of which has not been paid], and spend it not in the Way of Allâh, -announce unto them a painful torment. 9:34

My understanding:
It clearly stated that women who owns too much gold and did not wear them must pay zakat. I guess this is to highlight moderation that’s practiced by islam. Do not own more than necessary. If you do you might have to share those wealth.

March forth, whether you are light (being healthy, young and wealthy) or heavy (being ill, old and poor), strive hard with your wealth and your lives in the Cause of Allâh. This is better for you, if you but knew. 9:41
My understanding:
Announcement of Jihad. A muslim should not think twice if fighting to the right of Islam.


If you march not forth, He will punish you with a painful torment and will replace you by another people, and you cannot harm Him at all, and Allâh is Able to do all things. 9:39

My understanding:
God’s punishment to those who think twice about Jihad.

As-Sadaqât (here it means Zakât) are only for the Fuqarâ' (poor), and Al-Masâkin (the poor) and those employed to collect (the funds); and for to attract the hearts of those who have been inclined (towards Islâm); and to free the captives; and for those in debt; and for Allâh's Cause (i.e. for Mujâhidûn - those fighting in the holy wars), and for the wayfarer (a traveller who is cut off from everything); a duty imposed by Allâh. And Allâh is All-Knower, All-Wise. 9:60

My undertstanding:
Clearly stated those who are eligible to receive Zakat
Fuqara (poor) which means those who does not even own 2/3 of ‘harta’ or asset,Al Masakin (The poor) are people who owns lesser tha 2/3 of ‘harta’, zakat collectors,muallaf, captives, travelers, Mujahidun (those who is fighting in holy wayrs, ppl in debt not (not for the wrong purpose)

Open for public viewing

Today marked the 1st day of Islamic Calendar.
I've been doing some thinking and well, soul searching.

I've never been a reserved person. My blog have always been made public.

So after, sorting out some really personal entry.Keeping some to myself and some open for public. I've decided to export my then
http://wickedevils00.blogspot.com(which was then only for author)

to

http://littlestar57.blogspot.com
open for public viewing.

You can call me two face now.Cuz literally my blogs has 2 sides of me. :)

Awal Muharram

Today marked the first day of Islamic Calendar.

This is the first year that I've discovered the real significance of this event.
I admit, I was naive.

However, I have read a few books in the comfort of my family new house.
I've cancelled my social outings just to reserve today for reading.

I've read Surah At Taubah, stop mid way of An Nur.
I didn't want to elaborate much because I would keep the significant of those 2 surah for myself.

I welcome today with much joy, reciting Your verses.
Looking forward for Rejab and Sya'ban to come.

I have read the significance of those months too.

Thank you God for your Blessing.

For this year, I pray that you will keep me strong, patient and marching on my way to bring me closer to You.

You have been kind to me. I will never forget all the hints,the calmness and your Light.
You have given me Ramadhan to repair my faith. I will do the same for months to come.
InsyaAllah

Smile

I've been smiling a lot lately.

I've been listening to songs that make me smile a lot too.
Pigeon John songs "Monyback guarentee" makes me smile thinking about the unwanted guys who keeps on popping all the while. Trying to sweet talk me into going out with them. They should learn from Pigeon John. For the unwanted guys let me just say this "Even the fantasy of me is not interested in you" :)

Then there's this new rendition of "Please Don't stop the music" by Jamie Cullum

Oh boy, that guy sure knows that his voice is enough to make ones heart melt. Husky!!. Again , i prefer to listen to his voice rather than watch the v.clip. Still for a husky voice + good looks= Kings of Leon lead singer is unbeatable. Regardless, when I heard this song I smile. It does remind me of someone. Someone that shares the same husky voice.

When I look back, did this year teach me anything?
It certainly does. It's been a year with the most bitter ending. I give myself a pat on the back for surviving it and not being too bitter about it.

Smile again thinking that I don't need to take the walk of confidence.Not this time :).
Even on my least confident days I do make heads turns.
Even on my least confident days I do get friends asking if I am interested to meet new people.

I just want to enjoy this Singlehood for awhile. It does not mean I close my eyes to "oppurtunities".

It only means that I am not answerable to anyone unless if I want to.
I do not have to fulfil anyone's expectations unless if I want to.

All of which, that I miss.

I look back and think about my happiest moment. The moment that makes everyone smile. It is the time when I am single and free.

Oh yes, when I come back. I'll keep on smiling because you never know when is the next person is going to notice it.

IF that person is worthy of my time,he sure is to catch me on my best days :)

You wait for rain

By the end of 10 days, I shall be forgotten

A list of Founds

Recently,
Found myself not missing a "wirid" in my daily prayers.

Found myself not going a day without zikir.

Found myself thinking about Allah all the time.

Found myself finding peace in all of my prayers.

Absolute

Recently I found that Allah have shown His way to correct certain doubts.

For instance,
I was half awake and half asleep. Thinking that just a little sleep would qualify me for Solat sunat Tahajjud.

So as I wake up for prayers. I found out that I make a lot of mistakes that it forces me to start all over again for 3 consecutive times.

Then I stopped, prayed Solat sunat Taubat. It went smooth, no starting over.

I never imagined I could cry so much at the recitation of each verse. All the flashbacks, I remember my first recitation of "La illaha illa anta, subaha naka inni kunttu minal dzalimin.". Thanks to Zehan for reminding me about this verse during my tough times.

Right after, I slept for a good one hour.
Managed to perform solat sunat Tahajjud freely.

Before I rest my head, a strong instinct came about.
Perhaps it is God's way of showing that my half awake half asleep does not qualify me for solat tahajjud. That is why I had to restart for 3 times.

That instinct was so strong. Never had those before.

Praise to Allah.

The Wohoos, Auuuwwwss, Yeayss of life

First of all, I am proud to say that for the 3 days consecutively I went for a jog. I am starting to get addicted to it. I remembered the line “A fit body is a body to envy”. When you work out, it’s good to have a person in mind, the person who you picture your bods to be. My new found role model is Shantel VanSanten. She’s a new actress in One Tree Hill. Trust me when I say all of these work out is not to show off ones body. Rather to enhance one confidence. The side abs that I once lost, I have gained it back. Wohoo to that!
That's Shantel VanSanten.

Bowling

Went for Al Rajhi internal bowling competition. Frankly, it was fun. I think the fun-nest company event that I’ve attended.


Some other pics of the bowling tourney.
Yes, we are the Victorious Secret and yes I am the lowest scorer.

My Team



Went to Low Yatt waited for a few hours. Finally bought my father his b’day gift. Sony Ericsson C902i. A slick hand phone if u ask me. 5 MP, Camera Flash, Touch Screen for camera purpose and 3D sounds. All in all a hand phone that will make my old man happy. Yayy to that!


After Low Yatt, MidV and Kota Damansara, I went to have a chat with a friend. For once I thought I have done something right to buy a friend a t-shirt that fits well.

On the other note,

My Alfy is going to be a proud father. Milo is pregnant already. Hopefully it is Alfy’s kids. Haha..

Can you belive this is the face of a father to be? LOL

Nadirah Jalani is going to be Ms. Fozz. Yes her long term boyfriend has proposed. By the bench where they first shared their romantic moment. Since she once told Fozz that she would love a man who wrote poetry, he did just that for the first time. She was also given Fozz’s mother’s wedding ring for the proposal. Awwww to that!

When I looked back, I just realized 1 thing. All the while, I was never in a rush to be wed.

I think the right time will come for the right relationship and the right man.

Til then, happy holidays :)

What marks our timing...

Every year we would write our resolutions before New Year or for some during before Awal Muharram. That is something to be admired for.

I do think some of us do it because "well everyone does it". A lot of us somehow does not recognize or understand the significant of certain dates.

At the side of my bed, I have a mini calendar which I bought on 27th Sept. Very recent. It does not have days but it has dates. For each page there is a snippet from Quran or Hadith. Some I just read and some invoked curiosity that I read further.

There was one verse that invoked my curiosity that I choose to spend a few minute reading deeply into the Surah. To be frank, for the first time I was holding Quran like a story book. It was Surah At Taubah.

Funny how it has invoked a great curiosity at this time of year when it is near Awal Muharram. From that surah I found out that according to Islamic calendar we should observe 4 months, Zulhijjah, Zulkaedah, Muharram and Rejab. These are the 4 months where fighting is prohibited in Islam. That anger we feel that we channel into war, is forbidden in these four months.

If you asked me, there is no better way to start a year than free of hatred, grudges and anger.

The best part about Surah At Taubah is also telling you about Jihad. When I say Jihad, don't take it like how the media portray it to be. For me the way I see it, Jihad is like a resolution. To make sure you fight hard to be a better person.
For example;
When I told a friend about the challenges to change I mentioned wearing tudung is one of them.
He told me "That is your jihad then, mine is to stop smoking"

The point I am trying to put across is simple. Often we write resolutions without understanding the significance of the date. In my case, I only do things that I understand and motivate me.

I come to realized how significant Awal Muharram is at the moment I read this Surah. God has outlined clearly that before we prepare for our own "jihad" we have to enter it with the right foot. Free of malice & hatred basically making peace with yourself, your enemies and your loved ones.

Yes, some of us quoted verses of Hadith and Quran to prove a point. Point is taken. However do observe the time of day where we decided to use such Quotations’ and our intentions.

Is it to live up and motivate or is it to show that we are better than the other?

I am thankful that Allah have given me strength and patience to withstand critics.

I prayed to God everyday and seek for His mercy and Guidance to tame the heart of my loved ones. I did not get it easy. He made sure He throws in a lot of tests before He gave me the answer.

Usually if I am too lazy, I would just flipped that calendar and let it passed by. Somehow for a few days now that one line from Surah At Taubah was on my mind. By the time I read it, I knew God have answered my prayers.

I hope He will guide you the way He has guided me.

Will leave you with the picture of my side table.



These are the current books I've been reading. Oh yeah, Jodi Picoult's book is still on hold. Malas sikit. The pink book was given by a friend for my b'day to help me keep my elegance. As you can see, I am still a student in a lot of field. Hope that my slow pace in transformation could be understood. Far left, is the calendar that welcomes me everyday when I wake up.

Found it

Today is a great day, Alhamdulillah.

I was motivated to come home early and strap on my sport's shoes. Doctor has told me to take it slow, go for 3 rounds of power walk.

Doctor has a point, I am still having that fast heart beat but today I didn't feel much of it. Plus, I can't jog right away I have not been working out for 2-3 weeks! The last time I tire myself out was during futsal tourney.

So I strap on my shoes, went for a power walk (gosh I feel so old!) One round in my neighborhood’s park is huge. It is as big as 7 badminton's court. There are the easy ones and there's cardio. It goes up the small mountain.

What started off as 3 rounds, became 5. Then became 7... The next thing I know, it is already Azan Maghrib and I stopped at 9th round.

During younger days I would make it a point to jog every evening especially when I am stressed out. I don't quite like sleeping on weekdays; I reserve all of that for the weekends. Haha.

The Noisettes, The Elms and Sound Providers have somehow pumped me up to do more rounds. Plus the fact that tomorrow is public holiday for Selangor helps! (I just have to rub it in for those who works in k.l: P)

I found my motivation and I am using it to the fullest. After this, Jessica Alba can retire, since a new player is in town. LOL.

For one day, I could manage to silence my thoughts through exercising and solat. At the end of the day, I feel blessed.

Till then, have a pleasant evening everyone :)

The trigger

Thank you for all the well wishes.

Yup Thyroid made its debut again. Upon hearing the news, I get a lot of calls and text expressing their concerns.

Last year

“That is a sad book to be reading dear” says doctor Has

“You’ve read it?”

“One of my favorite, ok test result is out. Here’s my concern” she pointed at the paper.

“Your heart is palpitating faster than usual. However your thyroid hormone is active now. The level is mild so it shows the trend of inactiveness. When I say inactive, doesn’t mean it will not come back. It will but without warning. When it comes you have only 2 medicine to consume. The heartbeat will keep you up at night. It will be painful but only because your metabolism rate doubles up. Which explains your weight lost”

This year

“Hey lyana, ok let’s see your test result”

“Thyroid is active again, I think we should admit you right away.”

“Can I not be admitted, I promised to come for follow up.”

“Ok can but you know that heart beat needs to be monitored right? Plus, you will be awake all night”

“Doctor, even if I fall in a deep sleep nurse will come every hour to check, lagila I can’t sleep. “

She laughed.

“My concern is not just your thyroid but also something else. Don’t worry too much about this one test, nothing is at stake. Just for monitoring”

Upon hearing the news, a lot of my friends and former beaus called up to check on me. Thank you everyone. However I am just too bored staying at home and just trying to breathe easy. Need to keep distracting myself so I don't feel too much of it. It only keeps me up at night, haih..

Regardless thanks for being concern :)

An Hour with the Drama King

Yesterday was just well… tiring.

A particular customer was not satisfied with how the other banks are servicing him and well some branches. Funny enough this one particular place always gets the most customers’ complain.

I spent an hour listening. If you are a passer by, chances are, you would think that I gave this man a bad service. He was talking in high pitch, curses and calling everyone responsible “assholes” for his credit rejection.

So if you are a passerby, you would think I am at fault.

Lines uttered

“The muthaf***er CCRIS is a f***ing rip off”

“R** Bank is the worst of all buggers”

“C**B Bank is a daylight robber”

I laughed out loud on the inside. The best part is I was having monologues of laughter, at one time, it almost came out. Luckily, I fake it with a smile.

This man is a Drama king to the max. He was on top of his voice one moment and suddenly softens his voice and looked at me in the eye and went

“My dear, you have to understand my frustration”

And some times even word of encouragement

“You Miss Lyana, can make miracles”

And the best, courage!

“Be smart dear, you can sit down with your GM and outline this. I can tell you, you will be the promoted next year”

One point I almost burst out laughing because he thinks his word is finally getting to me. I think the line was something like

“Be that smart person Lyana, you can. Override the system. You can”

What I really want to tell that man was
“Dear Sir, I am very sorry that banks keep on giving you credit cards that says free for life. Well, I am sure you are a wise man that you want to take in all the credit cards that you don’t need and have that temptation to max them all out. I understand your frustration because trust me when I say we all go broke by mid of the month. The good part is your ‘kindness’ in helping all the sales team have resulted in super high commitments that CCRIS might need to find a new name. Yes Sir, I am smart enough to know that sitting with my GM pursuing the cause I don’t believe in will not result in a promotion.

Sir, thou you are not my client, I appreciate it if you stop by with a 3mil in your hand after suing all the banks like how you told me and that Muthaf***ing CCRIS like how you quoted. While entertaining this 1 hour drama called “listening” I have many glaring stares, 20 missed calls by various clients and 2 messages. Thou I have to thank you, as you walked out, I get applauded by all my colleague for keeping a straight face and smiling through out that 1 hour.

You know what’s funny even Sir. My colleagues are the ones that gets pissed off and me? Well I just burst out laughing. I have to agree with you sir, other place and a particular manager should have cleared the air and make nice with you,. If they handled you better, you did not even have to come to me and showcased you “unprecedented” act.

Regardless Sir, I enjoy an unprecedented movie that I even wrote this long letter to you.
I gave you 5 star for ‘being in character’, 1 for ‘story plot’. Hey sir, that Muthaf***ng CCRIS as you quote it may not give you a good rating but me sir I gave you “A must watch movie” on the side of your own dvd!.